Get ready for....
...MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
The gosh darn WHITESTRAKE'S MAYHEM event is back and the floors have been splattered with the blood of our enemies! It's absolute carnage! Send help ASAP!
Whitestrake ends on March 5th! So get your PvP going NOW!
Kionney has come out of the woodwork and dropped on us a PVP arena that she welcomes ALL members to enter and beat the shit out of each other in name of glorious combat! She is hopping mad about it and throwing popcorn angrily! In order to get there, go to the in-game guild menu and look at background information to find the entry text!
Rumor is the PvP arena is where the fabled greebles ambushed Wumpy and weakened him. Although he was able to escape, he couldn't escape his fate! (More on this later)
We've also had a half-assed event that ZOS came out with called the Crafter's Celebration that they butchered slightly when they took away about half of the promoted discounts!
We asked a few members of the Punks how they felt about the Crafter's Celebration, these are some of the replies we received:
Shrimp: "It sucks. I'd rather have to eat my own toes."
Bigg: "No comment, comrade."
Vytria: "I quit my job for THIS?"
Xio: "This does indeed make me limp."
Ari: "Nehmen Sie das Mikrofon aus meinem Gesicht, oder Sie werden die Hand verlieren."
We have had some PROMOTIONS this month!
Crash has become SPEAKER!
Bigg has become High Council!
Ariako has become Guardian!
Legend has become initiate!
Soulless has become initiate!
Your eyes didn't deceive you! Crash has stepped up to take over the guild as SPEAKER since Wumpy has been weakened by the nefarious greebles! To make sure he doesn't come back, Crash has sapped all the power and dropped Wumpy into LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
FIZZ GLURP SNAP Uh... FIRE
So begins to reign of Crash-Z, Speaker of the Infernal Punks Elder Scrolls Online guild!
Now on to
Past Events:
02/01 - Kionney - Lead/Scry Farming
02/03 - Jess - Zone Fishing
02/03 - Banana - vDSR Training Run
02/05 - Sean - Zone Fishing (High Isle)
02/06 - Sean - Public Dungeons
02/07 - Wump - How-To: Tank
02/08 - Banana - Skyshard Fighting
02/10 - Kionney - Fishing Tournament Results (over 22k fish sent in; 19m gold raised)
02/10 - Kionney - Mystery Reveal Event (New PvP Guild Arena)
02/10 - Jess - Parsing Contest (jedi 129k, kionney 60k)
02/10 - Banana - vDSR Training Run
02/13 - Vinny - Maelstrom Arena Stream
02/14 - Vinny - Vateshran Hollows Stream
02/15 - Umi - How-To: DPS
02/15 - Banana - vDSR Experienced Players
02/16 - Jess - Surveys and Harvesting
02/17 - Ari - Vet Trial Gauntlet (vAA)
02/18 - Jess - Valentine's Costume Contest (Wump won 250k)
02/18 - Sean - Valentine's Housing Contest (Velvet and Wild tied for 1st place, won 250k each.)
02/20 - Vinny - Maelstrom Arena Stream
02/21 - Vinny - Vateshran Hallows Stream
02/23 - Bigg - Transmuten Scooten
02/24 - Jess - Imp City Boss Farm
02/24 - Vinny - Wolfy Dungeons
Future Events:
Movie - Gremlins - Tomorrow at 2pm EST (for Kionney’s b-day!)
Complain to Wumpy Email Reading (I think)
Crash Announcement - Wumpy Graphics for the Merch Store
What are some notable achievements that members have done this month?
Brain - Tanking. HM dungeons done. DSR as tank. 11 trifectas under his belt. Hardest trifecta True Genius.
Grumpy - Indecent exposure.
Scoot - Brain’s emotional support, got emperor in cyro
Syrena - Achievement points. Got 1500
Spoon - Finished all fishing achievements. Got all skyshards.
Vytria - unlocked horn.
Xio - tanked coral aerie hm
Ariako - trial lead for the first time in vAA
BiggBlyat - worked on arena. Didn’t die.
Redvelvet - completed set lists
Vinny - Sprit slayer. Hircine’s champion. Flawless conqueror.
Banana - I reached 2000 CP
Jess - Got Crash to prospect for her
Crash - surviving emergency surgery. Making grandmaster crafter
Wump - being comfortable enough to step down and the guild survive.
Chris - come back to eso
Dashata - Finished N Elsweyr quest line and got home
Slayven - only pvps
Soulless - defeated 1000 opponents in BG. Killed 4 people within 12 secs
Wildfirejuliet - Tie for housing contest. Finished vateshan on vet. Reconnecting with ari
Special Thanks:
Vytria - 75k gold
Shrimp - 1 million gold
Syrena - 100k gold
Have fun! Wumpy signing off!
