- wumpyflump
Infernal Assembly - May
During this assembly we learned what people's proudest moment for them was during this last month of playing ESO! We also learned that Syrena is a damned monster at playing musical chairs because she won and made us all mad that she won because a bear ate us when she won and she got lots of gold while the bear ate us. Votes to ban her are underway.


This is the bear that ate us.
Veteran Kyne's Aegis has been absolutely obliterated and thrown to the wayside! Lieutenant Dan got served his ice cream... of DEATH! One member, known as Franny Blood Money Baby" Poo was heard viciously screaming, "DON'T BE BRINGING THAT WEAK SHIT HERE DAN!!" as the team defeated him and the boss he was trying to protect.
Here is the roster for vKA:
Main Tank: PRG
Off-Tank: Jedi
Healer 1: Draw
Healer 2: Kionney/Berry
DPS: Syrena
DPS: Jess
DPS: Franny
Boat DPS: Yousef
DPS: Kionney
DPS: Spoon
DPS: Joe
DPS: Wumpy
The Jester's Festival and the Jubilee Anniversary events have come and gone! Lots of loot and achievements were gained as well as a boatload of XP. We: smoked dragons, thrown pies in people's faces, gained the Empieror title, completed all the skyshards that Tamriel had to offer, learned the stories of Wayrest Sewers and Spindle Clutch dungeons, ate cake, grinded for kitty pets, did a 1st person dungeon run (never again), did some dirty work for the mage/fighters/undaunted guilds, conquered vDSR and vKA and much, much more!

We had plenty of promotions this month. Here they are:
Jedi has become champion!
Zach has become champion!
Sean has become champion!
PRG has become champion!
Kionney has become champion!
Sadly our dear Kai has stepped down as guardian after some burnout and been snagged by the whorish clutches of Minecraft! Damn you, Notch! Damn you!
Banana and Syrena have been going above and beyond the call of duty:black ops II and have been rewarded with the gold to get their own Hodor icon!
Past Events:
EmPIEror Title Grind x2 – Wumpy (Jester festival)
Skyshard Clear/ Cyrodill – Jess
Mummy Kitty Kat Grind - Banana
First Person Dungeon Run - Banana
Cyrodiil skyshard run - Jess
Goat Stampede (Cyrodiil Race) - Goat
Transmute Tuesdays
vDSR prog (finale) - Wumpy
Mummy Kitty Cat Grind - Banana
First Person Dungeon Run - Banana
Dungeon & Delve Divers - Crash
Daily Quests for Jubilee Event Boxes - Jess
Dungeon Story Stroll: Spindleclutch I&II - Syrena
Survey and Treasure Map Day - Banana
Mummy Kitty Cat Grind - Banana
Dungeon Story Stroll: Wayrest Sewers I&II - Syrena
Smokin’ Dragons - Spoon
?? (I forgot what was supposed to be here)
Undaunted Key vet - Kai
Material Harvesting - Syrena (Alowana cheated won)
Kitty Cat run - Banana
vKA prog run - Wump
vDSR stickerbook run - Banana
Guild Daily Quests - Jess
Scrying Spree - Syrena
Big Eared Ginger Kat Grind - Banana
Upcoming Events:
More dirty work for the guilds
Transmute farming
Veteran Halls of Fabrication prog
Bait n' Switch normal trials
Veteran Dragon Star Arena runs
Dungeon and Delve Divers
Story Stroll: Banished Cells I&II
Obstacle Course Runs
and much more!
It's late at night and I'm not sure what else to put! BYE