top of page
  • Writer's picturePunkBlog

Infernal Assembly - December

Well by George! December has come and gone and the year of 2024 is around the corner! Some of you reading it are already there! How is it? Let me know.

The New Life Festival is currently here and lots of the Punks are taking advantage of the XP bonus and getting all sorts of goodies! Lots of events happened where we had to track down Santa and his arch nemesis(?) Krampus in order to get our presents from them!

We also had a 50/50 raffle set up by new high council member Banana to help raise money for the guild AND an auction set up by war monger Jess to also help out with guild funds! Kai ended up somehow winning due to cheating Kionney out of gold and the Jess made a SHITLOAD of gold from the auction.

Here are some photos of the New Life Festival costume and housing competition! Vytria and Kionney won respectively!

The Punks have also saved Mrs. Claus from having to work at the "Peppermint Stick, It In Me" club due to the Elves organizing some type of coup against their boss! Our very own Crash has written a story about it: "In the land of Tamriel, during the holiday season, the Infernal Punks guild was in high spirits. SirWumpyFlump, known for collecting cheese wheels and telling stories, along with Red7Velvet, famous for their playful pranks, were at the center of the festivities. The guildhall sparkled with colorful decorations, and JediGrindTricks and Philamina were busy setting up a feast with sweetrolls and special spiced eggnog.

Amidst the cheerful chaos, Scoot stumbled upon a strange mudcrab emitting holiday vibes. They hurried to seek advice from Kairxu, an expert in ESO relics. The guild quickly gathered, with Toomba providing clever humor during their quest.

Their journey took them through snowy mountains and ancient ruins, where they encountered tricky netch creatures and solved challenging puzzles. BobDragonSlayer, known for expertise in dragon lore, guided them. Vxnn13 brewed useful potions, allowing them to do amazing things.

As they ventured deeper, BrainFartLOL's funny songs echoed in the caves, while Shrimpofthenorth cooked delicious dishes even Daedric Princes would envy. The guild formed strong bonds, relying on SeanDUrban's strength and Biggblyat's stealth to navigate dangerous places.

Their adventure reached its peak in a forgotten Dwemer city, filled with relics hinting at a holiday portal. Led by Kionney and assisted by SlayerSyrena's knowledge of ancient scripts, they discovered the power of the glowing mudcrab—a portal to a realm filled with holiday magic.

Jessa420 and Crash activated the portal, and the guild, led by SirWumpyFlump, entered a dazzling realm adorned with twinkling stones and enchanted snowberries.

In this magical land, Red7Velvet led fun games involving cheese wheels, while JediGrindTricks and Philamina shared stories by a cozy fire. Amid the laughter and joy, the guild members felt a deep bond of friendship.

As the night went on and the special eggnog flowed, laughter filled the air. SirWumpyFlump, with a mischievous grin, suggested, "Let's sing our guild song!" And they all joined in, celebrating their adventures together.

But the story didn't end there. The Infernal Punks, along with new members Spoon, XiokroDarc, BananaFish, Grumpy, Ummii, Jalken, and Brain Shredder, stumbled upon a surprising plot at the North Pole. The Elves had decided to run a different kind of business, and Mrs. Claus was performing at a club called "The Peppermint Stick, It In Me."

Santa needed their help to save Christmas and rescue Mrs. Claus. They embarked on a daring mission to snatch treasures and outwit the Elves.

Their journey led them through snowy landscapes, dark dungeons, and even a tempting dance club. Along the way, they faced traps, tricky guards, and the allure of the club's performances.

In a heist filled with humor and adventure, they managed to steal Santa's bag of riches from the Elves. Temptation was strong, but they stayed true to their friends and their mission.

With a bag full of treasures, they returned to Santa, saving Christmas and reuniting Santa with Mrs. Claus. The Infernal Punks, including their new friends, had successfully pulled off an unconventional heist in the spirit of holiday cheer.

As they celebrated their victory, the guild members couldn't help but laugh at the crazy adventures they had been on. They proved that friendship, humor, and unity were the greatest treasures of all.

And so, they returned to Tamriel, ready for their next exciting adventure."

Remember that we helped you big time Mr and Mrs Claus when presents time comes around next year!

We have had some PROMOTIONS this month!

TemporalPariah has made champion!

Vytria has made champion!

Sadly our dear Syrena has stepped down from her position as Guardian due to some burnout with the game. Thank you Syrena for the time you've put into the guild and the events you supplied us with!

In honor of Syrena here is a photo of her toe biting bird Coco:

Here are some

Past Events:

Banana - vKA, Ari and vinny first clear

Vxnn13 - Psijic Skill Line

Kai and Vanarch - Normal Trial

Vxnn13 - Wolfy Dungeon

Kionney - Late Night Fishing

Umi - vDSR

Banana - Skypoints

Vxnn13 - Wolfy Dungeon

Wumpy - Transmute Tuesday (but on a Saturday)

Kai - nDSR

Sean - Zone Bosses

Wumpy - Transmute Tuesday

Scoot - Western Skyrim Dailies

Jess - Auction Harvest Run

Kionney - How-To: Understanding the ESO Market

Scoot - Lead farming/Scying event

Kionney - Holiday Meme Run

Scoot - Western Skyrim Dailies

Kionney - Tower of Beacon Zero Lead Farming

Vxnn13 - Gold Coast World Bosses

Wumpy - Transmute Tuesday

Crash - Santa's Thieves Save Christmas

Kionney - 'Fire Drake's Flame' Dye Farm

Banana - Naked Normal Dungeon with Xandrixist and Mule

Shrimp - vCR+1 Trainer

Kionney - Hide-&-Seek Santa (over 2m given away in prizes and gold)

Vxnn13 - Wolfy Dungeons

Vxnn13 - Wolfy Dungeons

Upcoming Events:

Wolfy Dungeons by Vxnn13

nDSR by Philamina

How-to: Crowns by Kionney

Probably more transmute tuesday cuz everyone loves transmutes by Wumpy

and whatever else we feel like doing!

What are some notable achievements that members have done this month?

Spoon - Unlocked all but one deck for ToT

Grumpy - Flawless Conqueror

Kai - Nothing

Scoot - Gryphn Heart

Smirk - Learned how to hold statues in vSS

Temporal - Farmed a ton of AP

Vxnn13 - Alpha Predator

Vytria - Caldwell’s Silver

Kionney - Blew a lot of gold

RedVelvet - Learned to heal

Sean - Earned some farm achievements while hunting dragons

Banana - made 15 million gold this month

Crash - finished a couple hard mode trials


Renegade - not dead

Wumpy - True Genius

Ariako - Cleared most of the vet trials

Drawishes - Collected all the daily rewards for the whole month

Oceania - Grand Master Furnisher

Scriff - Almost level 50 on arcanist

Special Thanks:

Shrimp - 5 million gold

Syrena - 250K gold

Wump - 50K gold

Crash - 1 million gold

BE SAFE FOR THE NEW YEAR. Or don't. I'm not your daddy


34 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page